locks, keys, and nihilsm

To live life in its most base sense is to fulfill an atomic clockwork set forth by a physical and potentially spiritual world that has naturally proven itself to be beyond absolute, and thus meaningful, comprehension by the minds, bodies, and languages that humankind could possess. Thus, it is not difficult to conclude that our existence is not meaningful as either meaning does not exist or is beyond our comprehension to the point that it does not effectively exist to the subjective capabilities of man. Yet, in this conclusion of many conclusions lies a striking existential paradox that, while the “true meaning” is yet to be found/may not effectively exist, the conception of meaning does. In other words, it seems as though our species has, in its comprehensible possession, a key to a lock that cannot be found or does not exist. This metaphor inherently implies that if the idea of meaning were a key, there should be a lock, as it makes no sense for a key or a lock to exist without the other. Yes, the key and lock is a human creation and thus a human application of visualizing meaning, but what else have humans got but human construction to understand what might be beyond the frameworks of humankind? Perhaps the existence and comprehensibility of the idea of “lock and key” is itself a key to unlocking a visualization, the aforementioned visualization, of what meaning is – what purpose is.

It is my subjective leaning, influenced by a quality we call optimism, that since a key exists, a lock does exist, it is just yet to be found. Such that concluding that the lock of meaning is so lost, so beyond our comprehension, that it effectively doesn’t exist is the same thing as giving up. I don’t believe in nihilism, the nonexistence of a lock, as an explanation for the way things are. As I am able to grasp what purpose is and could be, I have difficulty saying that purpose does not exist. Everyone, some more actively or passively than others, is grasping for purpose. Even settling for nihilism is an effort to find purpose in the idea that there is no purpose. All the physical and ideological possessions that exist for our experience and consumption are organized, often organize themselves, into some semblance of meaning to life – as well as the moralities and virtues that stem from that determination. Again, this search can be an active or passive engagement… yet it is my intuition that passivity leads to ambiguity between the next clue to purpose or a mere outlier and distraction since all Things, with a capital T, are clues or distractions. That same street sign may be a vessel for significance depending or who, when, where, and why.

In any case, what’s the point of playing a game without trying to win, reading a book without trying to understand it, or living a life without trying to establish purpose? I feel prompted to run, not only focusing on the feeling of my leg muscles contracting and my feet pressing against the ground, but to look up and run forward, with direction and purpose.